* You have a vanity car tag with your domain name on it.
* You go into an identity crisis if someone else is using a screen name similar to yours.
* You change screen names so often that you have to get your profile to see who you are.
* Your dog leaves you.
* You double-click your remote.
* You take a bag lunch to your computer.
* You spell things out loud instead of actually saying the words,
* Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL.
* You stop speaking in complete sentences.
* You use other online lingo in real life. (Applies only to those who still have a real life.)
* You type faster than you think.
* You don't even notice typos anymore, and you work as a copyreader.
* You take a speed-reading course to keep up with the scrolling.
* You can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your TV screen at the end of a movie, including the Best Boy, Dolly Grip and Production Accountant.
* Tech support has started calling you for help.
* You beg your friends to get an account so 'we can hang out'.
* You know more about your online friends' daily routines than about your own family's.
* You meet people from online in person and have no idea what their names are, so you just call them by their screen names.
* You want to meet someone new and your first impulse is to go online.
* Your last sexual experience was really just a textual experience.
* You marry your cyberfriend and now you sit at your own computers chatting with each other from across the room.
* You go into withdrawal during dinner. (Does not apply to single people, who take their meals at the keyboard.)
* You have withdrawal symptoms when you are away from a computer for more than two hours.
* You have to ask what month it is.
* You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep.
* You get up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom, but end up at your computer just 'to check for mail'.
* You check your e-mail regularly but forget you have real mail.
* You dream in txt.
* You go into labor and stop to type a special e-mail letting everyone know you are going to be away, just for a little while.
* You actually enjoy the fact you are addicted.
* You will your computer to be buried with you when you die, or vice versa.
* You have to be pried from youer computer with theJaws of Life.
* The Jaws of Life don't do the trick.

---------Excerpted from The Laugh Page (www.laughpage.com)